The Syaoran Chronicles
by JackHollows
Summary: Syaoran's thoughts, all put down in a conveinant little diary. You thought he had any scrap of sanity in that determined little head? Think agian.New chap., Syaoran hears noises, swims, and has funky dreams.
1. Syaoran gets out his feelings

Okay, this is hideously OOC, but these are my twisted views on the things that go on in Syaoran's mind behind that determined little mask.These would be various entrys in a little diary he wrote in. I know it has spelling and grammatical errors, but that's just how Syaoran scribbled things down, he's not perfect people.

Entry#34: Screw this

You know what? Screw this. Forget Sakura, forget these retard feathers, I'm done! I could of been back in sandy land, diggin' all day long, but no, no, now they've got me runnin' all over the universe lookin' for these stupid feathers. I get hurt, I cry, Sakura doesn't remember a god damn thing, I'm done with it! Yeah, she's a ditz, like I'd want to spend the rest of my life with her. Screw that. I'll be a ice cream man, they get to drive all over and see the darling chillun's smiles. Then I could eat ice cream every day, not have Sakura falling down asleep because she's a freakin' narcoleptic amnesiac and Fai always humping Kurogane's leg every time you turn around. I'm done with this, Screw you Yuuko.

Entry#26: I'm afraid.

I'm really afraid. I don't know how to wash the dishes. I try and I try, but the machine hates me. Why does it only hate me! I never did anything to it, Fai and Sakura seem to work it just fine, and Kurogane says he's way too manly to be washin' stuff. Don't know why I even tried in the first place. I go to put a dish in and BAM it's got my arm, and I scream and scream and no one hears me. There's these buttons and dials see, and I like, press em' and it makes this HORRIBLE noise, like all hell just broke lose in this little washin' machine. Where does all the food on the plates go when you wash it? Where the hell does it go! Does it think that I too am but a stain on this giant plate we call life! You open the thing up and like, woosh, no more dirtiness. Where does the dirty go, not like it just dissolves right? Am I too to dissolve? Oh god.

Entry#24: The man-pride

Kurogane said that besides him, I'm the only one that retains even a smidgen of man-pride. Okay, he didn't use the word "smidgen" but I like it so too bad. Anyways, we were talkin', and I wanted to know about like, why he was so mean to Fai. He just said that Fai was a disgrace to man-pride, and when I said "what is that?" he hit me over the head with a porcelain statue of a cat. It hurt. He told me that I had to be a man like him and not a pansy like Fai. Isn't a pansy a flower? Maybe that's why Fai smells so nice. Kurogane's scary though, I don't wanna be like him. I want to be like "Super Syaoran" or something and shoot lasers from my eyes and fly. Then I'll have a restaurant named after me.

Entry#22: Nobody loves me.

Why does no one love me? Sakura is always with Fai. Why! And he's like, holding her hand and like doin' things for her and she's all smiley. Screw that blond gender-confused retard. I'll kill him. Then maybe I can have those snappy shoes he's always wearin'. I think it's the shoes. Fai always gets all the chicks. I want some too. Maybe just Sakura, and two or three more. If I had Fai's shoes the possibilities would be endless. But my feet are so little...why am I the shortest? It's hard to look imposing when your two feet below evreyone else! Oh, I am never ever gonna be loved. Maybe it's the fluffy coat. What if I had a fluffy coat! I'd be like "Syaoran the pimp" and I could have like one of those hats with a feather in em', and a cane. Then I'd like drive a fancy dancy car. I could do my hair like his too, so it's looked all wispy and fluffy. Yeah, yeah man, then I'd KEEEL Fai, and stuff him in the garbage. Kurogane would eat him if I cut him up into bite sized pieces though, maybe that's a good idea too. Hmm...

Entry#21: I suck.

Why is the sword I got so little? It's like, 2 cm. Wide. How am I ever gonna do anything with that! Now Kurogane, Kurogane gets this big bad ass one and I get like the wusstastic thing. I'm not even gonna use it, screw that. Why does every thing I attack usually catch on fire? Like, I'll do something and it's like BOOM huge flames a'risin' everywhere. Then I never get burned, even when they're like, all over me. Maybe I'm in the matrix. Maybe I'm "The one." That's flippin' sweet.

Review please, go ahead and tell me how I've shamed Syaoran even more, because I enjoy evrey second of it.


	2. Problems, drinking, and a dress

Here's part 2. Understand people, he's a tormented mind inside.

Entry#27:Problem

I'm very sweaty. Seriously, I like just noticed how freakin' sweaty I can be. Like, someone will say something and I start sweatin' like a pig, some even fly upwards, defying the laws of gravity as a cloud of sweat hovers above my head. Nobody bothers to tell me, "Wow Syaoran, you sure are sweaty". I think I have a problem. Then again, Kurogane gets lots of like, protruding veins that always pop out of his skin. They scare me, I think one day they're going to explode. Fai's always sparkly. He can like, sparkle on command. I wish I could sweat on command, it kind of just happens. I have a problem, seriously. Kurogane won't take me to the doctor because he's afraid of the doctor's office and I'm not going anywhere alone with Fai. I hope Sakura realizes I have a problem.

Entry#23: Too young

I was thinking today, and I just remembered something. Back in Outo, I got really, really drunk. I was so drunk I thought Mokona was Kurogane and that Kurogane really secretly was a covergirl (he is) so now I think I have some prime ammunition if I ever want to get those freaks arrested. Seriously, we were all drunk except Kurogane. Me and Sakura are only like, 16, we're underage! Haaah, now I'd never have to deal with Kuro-s and Fai's freakin' totally wrong lovey-dovey-ness no more. Then it would just be me and Sakura, top of the world, baby. Then again, then I'd be the one to do all the fighting and the cooking and cleaning. Maybe I'll keep them around for just a little while longer, you know, so Kurogane can continue to be our brainless lug and Fai can be our domestic housewife. Yeah.

Entry#32: Dress

I had to wear a dress today. It wasn't as fun as it looked. I had to wear these braids too, just because I just had the luck to land in a place where only girls are allowed. They had the bright idea to turn me into a cross-dresser. As I was standing there, in full female apparel, I had to think:

This must be what Fai feels like.

So then I'm wearin' flowers in my hair, and all the girls are like "He's so cute!" Just what I need, more fangirls. Sakura didn't help much, as always, with her it's always just like "Go with the flow, man.". I think I like Kurogane more, he wouldn't let them put me in a dress. I cried tonight. I'm so sick of this, I wanna go home. I miss my daddy. He's dead now, why won't his zombie come and save me! It's the least he could do. I hate my life. I wish I was Sakura, she never has to do anything. It's always me, kicking things around and putting myself in harm's way. Plus, I'm kinda blind in one eye, it's not fun when you see half the world that everyone else does. I think I should just give up soon, and throw the dress away. What makes me the most depressed is that people buy it, like, if that was Kurogane all dressed up like a woman nobody would buy it. With me people don't even question it. We had some guys bust in and I used some super-kicky moves on them, and they totally thought I was a girl. Again, this sucks.

Review.I command you. Or Syaoran's condition gets worse.


	3. Twins, Training, and hooker boots

1Entry#33: Twins

What if I had a twin? Flippin' sweet man. We could like, switch places all the time. He'd be my best buddy and we'd share cotton candy. The blue kind, not that pink crap. Then I would make him do all the hard stuff while I relaxed out in the sun. with maybe a bottle of juice, because I like juice. I'd be so cool. When Sakura bothered me, I could dump her on the other me, and I could go have ice cream with Kurogane because he is my home dawg, and also the only one with money to buy ice-cream since Fai is irresponsible and I seem to impulsively buy Sakura stuff.I would call him Hoolio. Hoolio would be an awesome name. How come I'm Syaoran and not Hoolio? Fate is sometimes so cruel. I think he would be blind in one eye too, but we could like, share each other's sights and let our sights become one or whatever. Yeah. I could only wish.

Entry#20: Training

Training is hard. Kurogane said that he would train me when I got my sword so I could become a swordsman or whatever. You know, I thought we'd be like, sparring and stuff. But no, no, we go out into the middle of this lake and he's on the shore with a handful of rocks. I'm standing on this eensy weensy little rock island thing, and he starts chuckin' these rocks at me, and I'm just like "What the foschizzle?" and I start with my super kicky-moves and all until I feel this HUGE pain in the side of my head and I fall in the water. Then there's the fact I can't breath, I feel like I have a concussion and there's this blood spouting from my head as I'm drifting to the bottom of a lake. I don't think I like training. So I finally get my wits together and break above the water, and doggy-paddle over to the shore where Kurogane is, and there's no "sorrys" or any of that crap, just "put this blindfold on and walk home.". So then I'm wandering through town blind, falling into garbage cans and getting laughed at by every passerby to ensure I'm never respected again. Then I hear like meowing, and I immediately think "Fai and Sakura!" What the hell is wrong with me! So then Ryou-ou, that dork, comes and ruins the whole thing by fighting this oni right next to me and taking the blindfold away. Screw him! So I finally get home, and have to pretend it's all good in the neighborhood. It's not good at all.

Entry#18: Boots

Okay, so we're I this world that's all snowy. The people here dress pretty funky so we all get like these colonial duds. I'm thinking "Wow, I'm looking pretty good" I mean, I am really good-looking after all. So I come out and take a look at evreyone else. Sakura looks like some retard storybook princess with like, this ridiculous bow and like uber-skirt. It was ugly. Kurogane is just in all black. I think he needs to expand his horizons. Then, my eyes (eye) fall on Fai. He's in pale blue, with like this crescent moon shaped hat, and worst of all, these Thigh. High. Boots. I just find myself staring at them, I mean, that is not right. Fai should not be in like...oh god, I'm not even gonna comment on this. So he's walking around like this in public, and no one bothers to say anything. I'm like screaming "God, someone put him in men's clothing!" but no one's listening, no one's listening. Fai just keeps on walking around like that, embarrassing us all. I think he is the reason people don't like us.


	4. Touching, War, and a beginning

Entry#33: War

Okay, I thought this wear thing would be like, fun and crap, but come on! I got beaten by Kurogane. KUROGANE. The fangirls are gonna feel this one. Then we got Fai, both him and Kurogane get these really funky black eyes. How come I don't get really sweet black eyes? I never get anything. Not even a decent amount of fanfiction in the Tsubasa category. It's all like Kuro/Fai...then I'm just livin' off the little I have. Damn you all! Anyways, I'm fightin' and stuff, with this like, wusstastic sword I mentioned earlier, that's so small that I'm just sure it's gonna break in half and then I'm majorly screwed. I'm lucky this weirdo lady came by and kicked Kurogane's ass before he got me. What I wanna know is how he can just swing his sword, and this huge dragon thing just comes. What the hell? That doesn't just happen! And, as always, I'm always randomly catching on fire. Yeah, that really concerns me. Sakura doesn't help at all, I always cry late at night because my life has become such a hell. All of a sudden Fai can shoot these arrow things too, since when was he good for anything? So now I'm feelin' pretty emo right now, like "I suck" and all that. Maybe I'll die in my sleep.

Entry#1: Initiation

Hey, wouldn't it be like, flippin' sweet if I wrote down all the wonderfulierfic scrumdiddlyumtious adventures that I get into in here? Oh yeah, well, to begin, Today that Sakura chick totally screwed herself over and started glowin' all funky, then I had to go and save her because she can't do a damn thing for herself. So then no sooner than when I get her and these feathers shoot out Yukito finds me quite conveniently and then whisks me off to like, Wonderland or something, then I'm stuck with this crazy witch. Then she starts demanding things from me, I'm like, "Oh come on, I just want to have my freakin' lunch, lemme breath for a minute!" So then she gets all of her memories of me gone forever and whatever, and on top of that I'm expected to go find the rest of them! Screw that! Then there's this big guy and this like, transvestite or something that appear out of nowhere, and she starts takin' stuff from them too! Then, then, she sends us of again! My heads spinnin', I'm hungry because I missed lunch, things couldn't get much worse. I hate my life.

Entry#2: Touching

Being touched is not exactly my cup of tea. I just want to have like, no one bother me for a minute. Is that too much to ask? The second we land in this Hanshin place the blond just kind of starts touching me. I really didn't expect to be traveling with someone who was going to immediately molest me. Then he starts reaching into my clothes, and just when I'm about to go all super-kicky on him he pulls out this feather and he's all like "Look, a feather was stuck on your clothes!"

Sure, sure buddy, that's SO what you were looking for.

So then the feather gets like, absorbed into Sakura. She stops feeling like a corpse which is good because it was making my hands cold, but she's still dead out. Which I suppose is a good thing too because she'll shut up. So now I'm slowly inching away from this blond guy, and he immediately starts bothering the big guy in black. I'm just waiting for this guy to beat him up or something. But no, no, they start like, teasing each other in a freakish way. They just keep flirting like that like, everywhere we go. It's embarrassing. I'm traveling with a girl who doesn't know how to do a damn thing and then those two. Oh yeah, and there's this fat white thing that's really annoying. I'm sure We're going to kill that thing eventually. Until then, I guess I'm going to have to endure it al. Again, I hate my life.

Review! Review and the Syaoran Chronicles shall never end! Mwahahaha!


	5. Dreams, Noise, and swimmin'

1Entry#14: Noise

I woke up last night to noise. A lot of noise. So I'm like "What the heck? I'm tryin' to sleep!"

So I bust outta there, and I look around, and nothin's there. Just the hallway, which only contains a couple of rooms, one being mine, one being Sakura's , and the third belonging to Kurogane and Fai. They sure are good friends. So I just guess that it was nothing and go back into my room to go to sleep. I snuggle into bed, it was so comfy it made me smile and forget that my life was terrible. So I'm just falling asleep when I hear the noise again. And again. And again. I'm beginnin' to get a bit suspicious now, like where the hell is this noise comin' from? So I sit up and bed and close my eyes to listen, and I hear it. It's like, I think it's Fai..or Kurogane...one of them. I listen closer to the wall, I like press my beautiful little ear against it and it is defiantly them. I wonder what their doing, because whatever it was it didn't sound very fun. It sounded like Fai was getting hurt. Then I started to freak out, oh god, Kurogane is killing Fai. All those nights of playing go-fish with those two were lies! So I wrench open my door, run down the hallway, and without thinking I kick down the door and jump into their room.

...I learned something that night.

Entry#16: Water

Okay, so we're in this new world now. It's real barren, and of course Kurogane's got to make a rude comment about it. I hate how he's always tryin' to be so manly around evreyone. Like he's better than me, I'll kick his ass. I think he does it to impress Fai. As far as what I know since what I saw last night, I think Kurogane's already got what he wanted. So Sakura just drops down unconscious, and then we gotta carry that bitch over and drop her somewhere while I'm expected to go swim in this lake thing and get a feather, or whatever. So I pop on my handy-dandy goggles and dive down underwater. It made me feel like a little sea-monkey. Then I find this whole little mini-town down there, it's like "Wow man!" and I get all wide-eyed in awe. I see this HUGE fishy over the town, and I just randomly decide to rip a scale off it. For some reason, I get a random flashback of my dad. That somehow fills me with bubbly happiness. What the hell. So I swim up and hop out of the water and it looks like some scene out of the little mermaid. Then Mokona's like "Sakura! Sakura is-" and I immediately assume she is dead, dead, dead. I freak, and then I find she's just asleep. Damn them all. She's in Fai's lap too. What the hell? Kurogane doesn't look like he minds though because he knows that Fai is his bitch. So, she wakes up and then I'm forced to talk to her. She's so boring. Why do I have to bear through all this while Kurogane and Fai make-out behind a tree?

Entry#6: Dreams

I had a dream about a dog on fire. What is up with that? I was all like "Hey! Doggy! You's on fiyah!" But it didn't really seem to care. I think that's how I started having the problem of randomly catching on fire. Someday I'm going to be cooked and eaten by Sakura. I shudder just to think about it. So now I'm havin' this dream, and it tells me that it will lend me it's totally awesome power stuff. I'm thinkin' "flippin' sweet!" So when I wake up I hurry and tell evreyone, because that's just amazin' and all. Then Kurogane tells me he had a dream too. I think he has erotic dreams about Fai. I wonder what their like. Probably something involving vanilla folders and broken speakers. Oh yeah. He says he saw an animal-thing too. I'm thinkin' "Bastard! That was mine!" I want to poke his eye out so we're equal. I wish I was tall like him and had his broad shoulders too. I thin I'll hollow out his body and live in it like a second skin. Then all the chicks will dig me. Fai said he also had a dream like ours, but he's a liar. He just wants to have cool animal thingy dreams like us. Bitch.

Review! Hoolio will thank you!


	6. Intermission numero uno

1Intermission:

Syaoran closed the notebook, sighing and resting his head on the wall. He closes his eyes to sleep, but is interrupted by Kurogane barreling down the hallway screaming,

" FAI! I'll KILL YOU!"

Syaoran opens one eye slightly, then closes it again shaking his head in disappointment. Fai jumps out from around a corner and flings a spoonful of ice-cream at Kurogane, and the ice-cream splatters him in the face. Kurogane growls like a dog with rabies and grabs Fai, beating him against the wall as Fai laughed and occasionally screamed. Syaoran picked up a book and started to peacefully read through it. Sakura runs out after Fai and Kurogane, calling out,

" Oh god, please stop, both of you!"

" Shut up, bitch!"

Kurogane screams back at her as we hear Fai's skull crack against the wood paneling of the wall. Syaoran turns the page. Sakura starts to cry, and Fai's head snaps back as Kurogane pulls him away from the wall,

" Fine! Me and Fai will continue this somewhere else!"

Kurogane dragged Fai out of the room and Sakura calmed herself down, going to sit by Syaoran against the wall,

" Syaoran, sometimes I think you're the only sane one."

She says, smiling. Syaoran just nods and continues to read until she leaves and he picks up his diary agian.


End file.
